


Omega-Zero

by PackThePack



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ABO, Alien ABO system, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everything is a mess, Fair warning: English is not my first language, Keith is a Mess, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega!Keith, Omegaverse, Parental Issues, Post Season 5, SHEITH - Freeform, and some babbling about genetics, first work so I hope it won't be completly terrible, in-universe, mpreg maybe, the drama is strong with this one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-03-26 06:47:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13852281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PackThePack/pseuds/PackThePack
Summary: It’s not easy, feeling like a stranger on your own body. It is confusing and throat-tying. It makes you want to crawl out of your skin, while wanting to crawl inside as much as possible. Small enough so you would almost disappear. It is hazy and cold, and it is shallow. The feeling of being left alone with yourself without a way to escape was no tender company. But right now it was the only company Keith had.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just love Drama and Omega!Keith.

When it first happened he was on a solo mission, shortly after he joined the Blade of Marmora. It felt like a fever, but in astronomical proportions. His breathing was shallow no matter how many breathing exercises he made or how much fresh air he got. He was burning like hot oil, but the pit of his stomach felt like a block of ice lodged in his guts. He wanted to run into the forest surrounding him on the desolate planet, while at the same time he desired to stay inside the ship. To touch it and take it, to make things to his liking, making it soft and mouldable, having the space be dangerously claustrophobic until he was satisfied. To claim it as his.

When he contact Kolivan on the monitor, trying to breathe as evenly as he could so not to alarm the Galra, he informed him that he was not heading back just yet, he felt sick, as if he got a cold or the flu, saying that he didn’t feel safe going back. That it was a human disease and the effects on their rebel companions was unpredictable. Kolivan understood and said they could not afford valuable assets getting ill, and deemed Keith’s decision a wise one after he assured him he would go back to the castle to have this looked after.

It wasn’t a wise decision. He stayed right where he was, and didn’t get back to the castle. The part where he said he was worried about contaminating other people from the Blade was not a lie, however, he was scared of going back to the castle as well. Coran and Allura were a point of concern, yes, but even if the other Paladins were human he was very certain he would put them in risk as well. He played tough in front of Kolivan, but he was very certain of one thing: This sure as hell was not the flu. 

-0-

It took roughly one week inside of that ship for Keith to feel better. Things got much worse the longer he stayed like that. His body would not stop burning and his thoughts were loose dust. Everytime he tried getting up it was like he just got out of a G-force simulation. Haven’t had one of those in a long time. The feeling was familiar but sickening. He could move but not for long, eventually he would just plunge into the ground again, hurting, earning, wanting. He didn’t know what for, he just knew he needed very badly. Seven days later he was now cleaning the floor of the ship from his sweat, tears and other bodily fluids he didn’t want to remember or talk about - Whatever it was he hoped it would stop when the disease seized - His head never pounded so much and never had he felt so thirsty.  The trip home was bumpy to say the least. He was beyond exhausted.

He was pretty sure he was cured. Perhaps his body took care of it on its own, even if all the time it felt like he was gonna die right there and then. He said to himself that it didn’t matter, that he was probably just unlucky enough to get a weird space-virus from the planet, and now it was all taken care of. It would not happen again.

Three months later it did happen again.

-0-

  
“You’re my mother?” Keith was at awe. Krolia kept on looking at him, waiting to see how he processed the information. “But when did you?- How can it?- Why didn’t- What!?”

“I see you need time to process that,” She said bluntly. Keith thought he saw the faint ghost of a sigh in her expression.

“You think?” he spat bitterly. “I come out into a mission to retrieve a spy and destroy a weapon and end up going home with a shrug and a card that might as well say ‘hey, I hadn’t had the time to tell you I was alive in all these nineteen freaking years. - Love mom’?”

“Keith,” The spectre of frustration was back. “You don’t understand. We will talk about it when-”

“Did Kolivan knew this?” She did not answer, only set her gaze into anything that wasn’t Keith’s own enraged one. “Did he?!”

“This is no place to talk about this” She started walking, making her way into the co-pilot seat without looking at Keith and without any other word. 

Keith wanted to explode, the mix of emotions swarming around in his head where overwhelming. He didn’t knew what to think. Should he be happy that he finally found his mother, whom he thought was dead, floating somewhere in space by now? Or enraged for the fact that all this time he was in the Blade, or heck even all the time he was just part of Voltron, no one bothered to tell him anything. They knew! They knew and yet they kept it from him? She knew!

Eventually he took a deep shaky breath and just headed for the pilot seat again. Putting the coordinates that would get them nearby the headquarters of the Blade. If he wanted to actually get back home right now or not was also an incognita in his head, but there was nowhere else he could go. So he’d take what he could get. 

A good chunk of the trip was in silence. Keith wanted to crawl out of the ship and let himself be sucked into the cold vacuum of nothingness every increasing moment none of them said anything. So he decided to be the one speaking first.

“Did you know I was with the Blade?”

“Yes.” Blunt answer again. Keith let a sarcastic laugh scape through his nostrils. Of course she knew.

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” He raised his voice mid-sentence, incapable from keeping his anger from tainting his words. 

“Keith,” Her voice sounded like a warning but he was too pissed off to give a damn. “We will discuss this on headquarters”

“No!” He pulled the breaks and the ship came to an abrupt stop. “I want answers, and I want them now!”

This time she did sigh, and he could feel his face feeling increasingly hot. The anger was taking hold of him, he needed to calm down. He observed as she let the weight of her body lose, leaning against the co-pilot’s chair with a soft thud. Her stance was no longer so stiff and her arms were draped over her tights just like he did when he was trying to think. He didn’t know how he didn’t notice earlier when he first saw her picture, her face shape, her nose, her eyes. It was him sitting in that chair across the cockpit. Albeit, a lot taller and more… purple. 

“I never wanted to leave you,” Her eyes still didn’t met his, they were lost in the stars beyond, or perhaps in a past he doesn’t remember as well as he wished he did.

“then why did you?” His voice was small and meek, filled with more sadness than anger. 

“The war is not a forgiving force, Keith.” She said finally looking at him, her purple eyes shaped in an apology. “The universe needed me, needed _the Blade_ ”

“I _needed_ you!” If the cosmos outside wasn’t so silent and empty as it was, he was certain his mother wouldn’t be able to hear the softly whispered words.

He knew it was a selfish answer, he knew that. But it was the only real answer. He needed her when he was asked why he did not had a mother and his father either wasn’t there to answer or simply avoided the question time and time again. He needed her when his father was no longer there to avoid said questions. He needed her when Shiro went missing and there was no one there to tell him, lie to him even, that he would see him again. He needed her everytime he cried because he was scared, scared there would be nothing left for him, that he would be alone and fade away along with every single person he ever loved. He needed her because she was his mother. 

He couldn’t help it anymore, without his permission his tears clouded his vision and his body shook with all the bottled up emotions he’d been trying to avoid. He was so tired, so beat up, and he felt sick. He wanted to reach for her, but his body only kept on shaking and recoiling into itself. The feeling was so intense, was so vivid and it hurt way more than he expected it to. He felt dizzy and he wanted to go home. 

“Keith!” Her voice felt distant, but he was pretty sure she was getting closer. His vision wasn’t at its best, probably because of the tears, but he could make out the concern in her eyes. She was so close, her hands supporting his shoulders. It was warm and it felt nice. “Keith, don’t close your eyes! Stay with-”

It all became dark and the nice feeling was gone. He felt cold and warm at the same time. And then, the pain arrived. 

-0-

When he finally regained conscience the first thing he thought was that he wish he hadn’t. His body ached all over, trying to sit up was terrible and even opening his eyelids felt like sand was stuck in his eyeball. He felt like shit. He looked around after he was able to shrug off the pain that extended all over his body. He was back at the Blade’s HQ, and more specifically back to his room. It was dark and the only sound he picked up on was at click at the door as his mother got in.  
  
“You’re awake,” She had folded clothes on her hands and what Keith assumed where more sheets. Keith frowned at the sigh, but didn’t question. His head was pounding too much to question anything.  
  
“You’re still here,” The statement didn’t carry any venom to it. He just needed to be sure her next line wouldn’t be ‘not for long’.  
  
“Yes, I haven’t left all these seven days you’ve been out-”  
  
“Wait hold on. Seven days? What are you talking about?” The ever so present inaudible sigh graced Keith again with its appearance. He wasn’t sure if he liked that or found it annoying.  
  
“It is better if we speak once you’re cleaned and dressed,” Keith was confused until he decided to look under the covers. Indeed, he didn’t had any clothes on.  
  
“Why am I naked?” He said making a conscious effort to cover his private parts as best as he could.  
  
“That is irrelevant at the moment,” saying ‘blunt answer’ at this point seemed kinda redundant, Keith decided. “We expect you in the command room as soon as you get yourself cleaned and dressed.” She repeated, more like a suggestion this time rather than a statement. He could swear he felt warmth in it for a second. He assumed ‘we’ meant her and Kolivan. Good, this is what he had been waiting for. Some answers.  
  
He was about to move when he noticed that Krolia was still standing beside the shut door, looking at him. Her facial expression wasn’t soft per se - She seemed to always keep a serious overtone to her features regardless of the circumstance - But it was not harsh like always, it was a little more… unfocused and relaxed, almost vacant. She looked prettier this way. Nevertheless she was still his mother, and he was kind of in ‘all-natural’ right now, and he wasn’t going anywhere if she kept standing there observing him.  
  
“Hum… Could you, you know…” She seemed to snap from her light trance, taking some seconds to catch up with the question.  
  
“Of course,” Her serious expression was back in place. Keith wasn’t sure if he liked or felt annoyed by that either. There were a lot of thing he wasn’t sure how to feel about when it came to his mother. “I’ll leave you to proceed with your preparations.” She left the clothes and the sheets by the table that stood adjacent to the bed, turned around and left.  
  
Keith kept looking for the door for some seconds. Maybe he was just too tired to look somewhere else, or maybe he was expecting something. Maybe for her to come back and say something else. Maybe ‘good morning’ or ‘how are you feeling?’, but the door kept closed. He knew he was being stupid, but a part of him still wished that were the case.  
  
He started getting up and heading to his personal bathroom. His muscles ached and his heartbeat was like a gong in his head. He took off the thin sheets and tried moving his legs. When he did he froze for an instant. Oh my god… this can’t be what he think it is. He moved his calves against each other ever so slightly once again, and almost jumped at what he felt. He was wet. Insanely wet. He brought his hands to his face, not knowing if he was more embarrased, disgusted or mortified. Maybe all of the above.  
  
What was he? Seven? This couldn’t be happening. Whatever knocked him out earlier seemed to also make him wet the bed. Wonderful.   
  
Tentatively and embarrased to the core Keith took his hands off his eyes and peeked down. And what he saw wasn’t… what he expected. For his releaf the sheets were still the same light purple they always were, and yah know, not yellow. On the other hand, there was a shimmery pink thing, glimmering against his skin. What in the hell was that thing? Hesitantly he brought his fingers against the stuff. It wasn’t liquid, but it was not exactly solid either. It looked like super thin ice cream sauce. He brought his fingers close to his nose, still being careful with the stuff, for all he knew it could be alien snot from a gross space-monster they used as treatment. The smell hit him like a car, it was very strong, and excessively sweet. He could swear he smelled this before-  
  
_No_. He did smell this before.  
  
Keith brought the hands that was not stained with the weird gel-looking-thing to his head, pulling the thin strands of his hair. He was still sick. He thought the virus or bacteria or whatever it was he got at that mission three months ago was gone, that he was cured. Apparently not. Well, the answers he need will not be found here in his room, the Blade of Marmora will find a solution for whatever he has. He got better once, he could get better again.

-0-

Keith never had a mirror in his bathroom, and it never bothered him, but today he wished he had one. He felt like shit, so he was probably looking like shit as well. Plus he didn’t know what he had, so he could have a green face for all he knew. He’s exaggerating, but still, he wish he could at least see his own reflexion just to confirm it.  
  
He headed straight for the command room. On his way, he noticed that some Blade members looked up or away from whatever they were doing to spare him a look. No one was staring him down per se, but a glance is more than what he - or anyone for that matter - Would get from those working inside the Blade of Marmora. This was an eyebrow raiser when it came to these people. Maybe he really does look as bad as he thought he did after all.  
  
Getting at the Command room his mother was speaking in a low voice with Kolivan. Her eyebrows were furrowed ever so slightly and she pinched the bridge of her nose. She looked anxious. Kolivan noticed his presence at the door, his mom followed. Both took their usual stance back, rigid and immovable. Made them look more like statues than actual living beings. Keith strode forward, until he was face to face with the two taller Galra.  
  
“I heard I was out for seven days. What’s going on?” His voice betrayed him a bit, heavy and husk with pain and exhaustion.  
  
“Calm down. There are no outside factors threatening your health,” Kolivan didn’t seem moved by the irritation in Keith’s ask either. “The seven days you remained sedated were for precaution. We needed to be sure you were… stabilised”  
  
“Sedated? You guys knocked me out for a week? What for?” He looked between his mother and Kolivan, neither of them seemed very eager to answer the question. “I want to know what’s happening,” He now kept his eyes locked on Krolia. “Mom? What’s wrong with me?”

“There is something you need to know about our species, Keith.” Kolivan was the once who answered. Keith let his gaze linger in his mom’s never moving face before looking back at the man. “What is it?”  
  
“We, as you might suspect, even if similar enough to humans, do not possess the same physiology as them,” Keith nodded as to indicate he understood. “Even if our species can create offspring together, that doesn’t mean our reproductive systems are the same.”  
  
“Where are you going with this?” Keith was beyond confused, if felt like a big blue alien cat was about to walk him through the birds and the bees. “What does this have to do with me and my blackout this week?”  
  
“We ran a DNA test with a sample of your saliva,” His mom was the one directing him the word now. “It’s important that you understand what we’re saying, so you can understand why you went through all of that, why you felt sick.”  
  
“Okay. I’m listening”  
  
“There are five types of genes in the Galra species,” Kolivan spoke again, the computer in front of them lit up and five different combinations of letters popped up on the screen. “Our species operates within three categories. Alphas, Betas and Omegas”  
  
“Hold on. Like the wolves?”  
  
“Yes, like your earthling wolves,” His mom answered. She had a note of a smile in her voice and eyes as she answered. This must have brought her memories. Or maybe she just found it funny that Keith was comparing them to big earthling dogs. He couldn’t tell.  
  
“Correct. But unlike your earthling wolves, we Galra are born into said ranks. What you see on the screen are the possible genetic combinations each of these can present,” Two of the letter combinations were zoomed in. Both starting with the letter A. “Alphas, can have either a ‘AB’ combination or a ‘Ao’ combination depending on whom their parents are,” Kolivan passed to the next one after making sure Keith was still on the same page they were at. The next setting had both combinations starting with the letter B. “Betas can have a ‘BB’ or a ‘Bo’ combination” He didn’t spend too much time on these ones, passing quickly to the last one. A single combination was zoomed in. “Omegas can only have an ‘oo’ combination.”  
  
“Okay,” Keith proceeded with caution. All of this was confusing and it didn’t make any sense so far in the context they were at. He could not see the relation between all of this wolf-sounding-stuff and his disease. “What are you saying? Are you saying I’m one of these things?”  
  
“No,” Kolivan deadpanned.“You are not one of these you see here”  
  
“Then why are you showing me this?”  
  
“Keith,” his mom intervened again. “We are telling you this because there are things specific to these three dynamics that you need to understand. That might help us understand what’s going on with you.” She was very serious, but there was a some sort of pleading in her words. Keith decided he’d oblige to it.  
  
“Each Dynamics has two genders, male and female. The ranks don’t rule our lives as they used to millennia ago, but after the empire rose one particular dynamics became incredibly valuable to them,” The screen didn’t change. It kept zoomed on the last combination.

“Omegas?” Keith asked as if asking for an elaboration on the matter.  
  
“Omegas have the ability to generate life. Beta females do too, but Omegas are known for having bigger litters”  
  
“Litters? You mean… babies?”  
  
“The empire needs all the soldiers they can get,” Keith’s mom said it as a fact, but he could see it in her face that she meant it as an insult.  
  
“I don’t understand. You’re telling me all of this, but I still don’t understand what any of this has to do with me!” The more he tried to understand the more he got confused. Someone had to explain something, and fast. He was tired and irritated, and his patience was wearing thin. He wanted to get this over with already.  
  
“Omegas have an increased ability to reproduce, and that is due to their heats. A heat is a period of time where an Omega craves for sexual fulfilment. Their bodies will react in a way that will grant the highest chance of conceiving a child. Usually with an Alpha, but that is not a requirement,” Kolivan continued paciently. “Both females and males experience said thing. Their bodies will get hotter, they will feel tired and crave physical contact. They will also produce a substance that is used to self-lubricate, as to ease the mating process”  
  
Oh.  
  
“You think… that I’m a…” Keith was finally putting two and two together. “But you just said my DNA results don’t match”  
  
“They don’t,” Krolia said, looking him in the eye. Searching for something he was unaware of. “These are your results,” The screen flicked again, and now there was another combination. It didn’t seem that different.  
  
“It also says ‘oo’ like the other”  
  
“The second character is not an ‘o’, it’s a zero,” Looking again Keith did see the small difference between the two.  
  
“Omega-Zero? So does that mean I’m an… Omega?” Keith felt anxiety rise at his chest, along with fear and a different gross sensation he had never felt before. Burning at the pit of his stomach. He looked at his mother looking for some sort of solace, but her expression was locked on a rigid expression once again, her eyes were focused on the floor.  
  
“It appears so. In fact it seems that you are nothing _but_ Omega,” Kolivan continued. “However, we never saw a gene like yours. Not even in half-breeds, we thought it was not possible”  
  
“So, what does this mean to me? Is there a way to reverse this? Will I be okay?”  
  
Kolivan and Krolia looked at each other, their expressions indecipherable. They seemed to be having an entire conversation without using their mouths. Krolia’s shoulders were very tense, and so were Kolivan’s. Keith was probably no better. At some point in their exchange he had braced himself, and had his hands pressed firmly against his upper arms, his throat felt like it was tied up from the inside, and his spine was folding on itself. He was scared. The other two finally faced him again.  
  
“Will I be okay?” He repeated, voice more shallow and hesitant this time.  
  
“We don’t know.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the wait guys. I've been so busy lately. I hope the chapter makes up for it.

The sentiment of loneliness was no stranger to Keith. He was mostly alone as a kid, even if his father was there for him, at least in a physical sense. Part of the man’s mind never really seemed there with him. Once he was gone, Keith’s loneliness just became more aggravated. He worked around it, still. Even if it hurt at the beginning and he was nothing more than terrified. He still survived, because that’s what he always did. That’s all he could do.

Things weren’t much different in the Garrison. The way he walked all stiff and always glaring down, as if the floor itself had just insulted him, had probably contributed to the perpetuation of his lonely state. That is, until he met Shiro. Shiro was bright, talented, charming, confident, smart, and honestly, everything Keith ever wished he was. And he took interest in Keith. The brooding, moody, no-face-for-friends Keith. It was baffling, for everyone, not just Keith. He tried distancing himself in fear he was being toyed with. But Shiro persisted and kept on trying to approach Keith.

And as the days went by at the brightly lighted corridors of the Garrison – which Keith’s deep relationship with the ground never allowed him to truly notice – all the walls he had built around himself came crashing. Like a poorly constructed sand castle waiting to be knocked down at the borders of the seashore. Dissolved and dismantled by Shiro’s warmth. For the first time Keith truly belived that he wasn’t surviving, he was actually living. And it felt so bright and dizzying. Every breath of his started to crave for the next as if it was his last.

Didn’t took that much longer for him to notice that Shiro was not just teaching him how to live, but he was very quickly becoming Keith’s life on itself. But he was a clumsy and unknowing one when it came to emotions. So he thought it was just him seeing Shiro as his new family. Someone to lean on fully, someone he could count with. It certainly would be a first. So he dived deep on the sentiment, letting it dig at his chest and make a home between his ribs, making it even warmer and more dizzying. It was comfortable and it felt like home, real home. He no longer had to be alone. 

When Shiro first kissed him, it caught him by surprise. It was such a foreigner feeling. It was soft and it didn’t last long. It had barely touched the surface of his lips. But as Shiro moved away, Keith felt as if he had been kissed by the sun itself, left forever marked and bruised by its intense heat. Keith didn’t know how to react other than to look at Shiro in astonishment, so of course, Shiro panicked and began to apologize. To which Keith answered with half a nose bump and another long chaste kiss to the men’s reddened lips. Shiro had a tendency to bite on them whenever he was overthinking things or simply nervous. Keith didn’t mind the roughened texture. It was Shiro. It was all that mattered.

Keith felt like he was complete when he was with Shiro. It was almost as if something in him flew out of his chest when he was born, wondered off into the world, and lodged itself in Shiro, leaving a space behind. Now years later this... dimorphic thing, this rogue wanderer made out of Keith had finally found its way back home. This time being as much Shiro’s as it was his. Shiro was there, he was always there, and he was always going to be there. Or that was what Keith thought…

Until the moment where he wasn’t.

The Kerberos mission set a heavy iron stake in their relationship. The thought of leaving Shiro felt so wrong, so unthinkable and so unbearable that Keith seriously thought on sneaking on the damned ship if it meant Shiro would not go far far away. Shiro said he was overreacting, and he knew he was, he knew that. However, something inside of him was screaming at him to not let this happen or he'd fall apart. Screaming that he will be all alone again. After months of bickering and bitter strife, Keith finally managed to let go of the desperate need of being together with Shiro, of being right where his home was, at least a little. He swallowed the bitter inner voice pleading him to stop the taller man, and let Shiro go with a last kiss at the platform. He was gonna be there again. He’d come back home. 

Until he didn’t. 

“Pilot failure” the bright screen in front of him said, blurred out through his tears. What a joke! Shiro was the best pilot he had ever known. That ever was! He taught Keith everything he knew. Pilot failure his ass! It wasn’t true, it simply couldn’t be… ‘cause if it was, that meant that not only was Keith alone again, he was now homeless. The half of him that had find its way to his chest was churning angrily and digging at his core with sharp nails and the sting of bile, craving and whaling for it's other half. Didn’t matter how many times he threw up, he still felt so full. Full of anger, of sadness, of desperation, he was so full, and yet so numb. He felt torn between climbing through the walls, breaking everything he saw in front of him and simply plunging to the ground and screaming for a forgiving god to take pity on his miserable existence. 

He stormed into the Garrison that night. Marching in like a hungry animal that was out for blood. He was livid. Livid and filled with so much sadness and anger he was almost certain he’d burst into a million pieces if he moved too much. He demanded to know what happened to Shiro, demanded to know who was responsible for the bullshit statement that was put in the news! Iverson was the one who attended to his pleas, even if begrudgingly.

It was no secret he never liked either Shiro or him. He met Keith at the door, where two guards were already securing him still, threatening to toss him out like a overfilled garbage sack. He stood mighty and tall in front of Keith’s trashing body. And he spat on him. Words filled with acid and ill will. Intentionally digging even further at the hole in the centre of his chest. Iverson dug his claws too deep. He dug too much and caused Keith to spill. 

Keith was indeed tossed out of the Garrison both physically and academically that night, but he made sure to take a piece of Iverson with him as he did so. He wanted to be happy, if not a little less burdened with this terrible heavy feeling on his shoulders. But he wasn’t. The thing, the screaming obnoxious thing inside of him just kept on tossing and turning incessantly, making hell out of his guts, and making his mind crumble. He could take no more, and he couldn't help but break apart completly. He was not one to cry, but that day he was sure the desert never felt so much water hit its surface at the same time. It all washed on him at once. He was helpless, hysterical and he was alone again. He was half hollowed.

He forced himself to not give up, though. He pulled himself up enough so he could head back home and start looking for a way to find Shiro. He knew he was still out there. He had to be. Half of him had found its way home once, and it could do it again, he’d make sure of that. Even if it meant scavenging the entire galaxy himself. He could feel it. So deep in his bones that it was painful. His home was out there somewhere in space, and he was going to find it.

And he did, or well, it was more the other way around. Shiro came crashing down in the desert again, like a burning comet, a shooting star. Much like the ones Keith pleaded too many times to bring Shiro back. Maybe one did listen. Shiro looked so different. He was a little taller, and his face looked tired, even when unconscious. He had so many scars, his hair was half-white, made him look like a skunk, but Keith refrained from making the remark. 

He was also missing an arm, it made Keith's stomach drop a little when he saw it. What had they done to him? All of these new things, all of them made Keith ache so much. He said nothing. Shiro didn't need a reminder of something he very clearly was aware of. It was paining, but oddly enough it was simultaneously not much. It was still Shiro, he was home, he was with him and that was all that Keith could think about. All the marks and bruises were nothing. He was home again.

Keith felt too many types of loneliness, even after the whole “Voltron, save the galaxy” thing. He had friends, he had Shiro. Or so he thought he had… again. Shiro disappeared into space once more, and this time Keith did scavenge the galaxy to reclaim him. He was not going to let Shiro slip through his fingers again. He harmed his friends, and he harmed himself on the process, but he found him, he found Shiro. But unlike last time, Shiro felt off. He didn’t have any visible new bruises and he didn’t seem much more different aside from the long hair and unshaved beard. It was still Shiro, it had to be. It couldn’t be no one else. How many skunk-looking dudes with just one arm can there be in the universe? But he was not… him. Not to the fullest at least. The churnings inside his stomach started at it again, whispering to him; warning him that Shiro was different, and that it wasn’t his home in front of him there. He shrugged them off. He was overreacting again. He had to be.

The doubt on Shiro’s state soon became doubt on himself, which in turn morphed into insecurity. He tried leaning on Shiro, trying to regain his balance and get a grip, but it wasn’t working. It just wasn’t. Shiro didn’t felt the same in his arms anymore, he didn’t give Keith the same confort that washed over him so easily whenever he was near. Even his smell was different. Keith didn’t know how to explain, and it was eating out on him. How selfish, and how guilty he felt for all of these things. Shiro was the same, it had to be Keith. Keith must be the one who changed, and now he is taking it on Shiro. The whole Galra-heritage thing plus his failures as both a leader and as a fighter were all adding up and making him feel lost and alone again. He had to leave. For the first time in forever, he needed to be away from home, away from Shiro. He went away with the Blade. Telling himself that he would be much more needed there than at the castle along with the others. He finally thought he was getting himself together. Letting go of the ridiculous assumption that Shiro was not himself, and finally coming to terms with the knowledge that he might never know more about his heritage or his family.

But then, Krolia happened, and this whole Omega-zero thing too. And he just didn’t know how he should react to it. Should he be glad? Angry? Confused? Relieved? Scared? Weirded out? All of the above? Keith did not know, and neither did Shiro. Shiro was not with him, and he did not know. What would he say when he finds out? Should he find out? Won’t this make him look at Keith differently? Or could he help Keith figure this out? But… did Keith want him to? What a mess, what a gigantic mess. Right now, feeling the cool touch of the window’s glass on his forehead, and gazing at the abyss of distant planets and constellations before him, Keith didn’t only feel alone. He felt complete and utterly isolated.

-0-

Keith did not know how long he watched the motionless vastness before him. It could have been hours, or it could have been just a minute. It didn't matter, really. He was exhausted and restless regardless. The vacuum of space did nothing for his drifting mind but bring sour-sweet notes to his numb lips. It was so infuriating. So frustrating. He wanted to bang his head against the glass until he woke up. Back at the shack with the familiar taste of sand resting on his tongue. God, how he wanted to wake up again snuggled up under Shiro’s chin. Just letting his mind marinate placidly in the man’s scent like any other lazy morning. Had not Krolia walked into the room right at that moment Keith would have probably let his sadness roll down his cheeks freely. Instead, he just took a deep breath and cleared his throat. Making sure to avoid her gaze at all cost.  
  
At first she didn’t say anything. Keith wondered if it was because she didn’t know what to say. Or even how to say it. They’ve been tiptoeing around each other ever since they got into the base, that was for sure. They were mother and son, and yet they weren’t. At least not for Keith. He didn’t know how Krolia felt, but he was still bitter about all that happened. The fact that she knew he was here, the fact that all this time… all this time he thought she was dead, and that his father was simply crazy or merely dreaming awake whenever he mumbled about space under his breath all those years ago. God his father. How could she leave him down there alone with Keith? How could she walk away without leaving nothing more than a goddamn knife behind! How could she let him die without ever knowing if she herself was alive? How could she?!  
  
“Keith” Krolia’s voice brought him back to reality. The shift just made his rage even more apparent in his mind. For this was the reality in which his father was dead. The reality where he had no one to rely on currently. A reality that _Krolia_ created. And right now, was the reality where Krolia was currently looking at him as if he was a hurt puppy. Taken aback by her expression, Keith looked at his own reflexion in the glass in front of him. His eyebrows were set in a deep frown and without his notice, angry tears made their way down to his chin. His lips where pressed together so tightly they were nothing but a thin line, almost lost amongst the shining stars in the background. His eyes opened in astonishment. He was losing control over himself faster than he initially thought and his attempts of keeping them bottled up were clearly nothing but big talk at this point. His feelings didn’t obey him no longer.  His head was pounding and his stomach was turning and his skin was constricting. Boiling him from the outside in. He wished he were a snake at the moment. So he could simply shed this pitiful self in its entirety and just slither away. To where is dark and quiet. Away from his own mind and his own life.  
  
“I know you’re upset,” Krolia finally broke the unconfortable silence. She seemed to be trying hard not to focus too much in Keith’s silent outburst “But you need to know that I had no idea. About any of this.”  
  
“Oh really? Which part? The part where your half human son was in the same organization as you and you couldn’t bother to even mention?” Krolia looked at him in astonishment, taken aback by his salty words. It was clear that it wasn’t that to which she was referring to. Keith knew that. But he couldn’t help but let all of it spill over his words. There was so much pain, anger and sorrow. All canned inside, like a disgusting spam of fake reassurances and lies he kept on telling himself for confort for the past months, years perhaps. He let it all out at once “But you knew that, didn’t you? You knew everything.” Krolia did not respond, brutality killing the words in her mouth “Knew I was here, knew dad was dead – Died without hearing a single word from you ever again –” Keith let out a breathy laugh doused with sarcasm at that “Knew I was even more of a freak than I already thought I was…”  
  
“No, Keith.” Krolia’s hurt and exasperation was too sipping out through her voice now “No. You’re wrong. I did not know about you. I didn’t even knew it was possible. Had I known I would-”  
  
“You would have what?” For the first time he looked at her. Really looked at her, withstanding her gaze for more than just a flash. And in her, he found him. Hurt, confusion, regret. All wrapped and packed, ready to go. But his own anguish was blinding, the words came before a second thought “What would you have done, huh? Thrown me out? Would’ve simply rejected and casted me out like everybody else? Would have stopped completly? Would have killed me?!” That seemed to have struck a bad cord. With no response given, she just looked away, rose her chin – not looking at Keith’s direction, only the ceiling. Almost as if holding back tears of her own – and with a deep, shaky breath she regained her composure.  
  
“When you were born. I was glad. In more than one way.” She started. If one did not know better, they could have mistaken the choice of words as a form of dismissing all that Keith had just said. Keith was nervous and upset, but even him knew better than to assume that. He let her continue undisturbed. Her voice still sounded blemished by Keith’s cruel ones, but as soon as she finished the first sentence, it started to display something else. Something reminiscent from other times dictated the sounds that curved her tongue “I was so thrilled to see you for the first time. You were just so small - for a moment I was scared for it - However, your father reassured me that all human babies were that size, so I trusted him. ‘Human baby’… You don’t know how much hearing that made me happy, Keith.”  
  
“Well sorry to disappoint.” Keith muttered under his breath, bitterly.  
  
“I was happy,” Krolia restarted, trying to get her point across once again “Because your thin hair was black like charcoal and your skin was white like the sand around the house. You were so plumb and soft to hold. A bit weird at the beginning, but I just assumed all human babies looked like that.” Keith looked at her as if asking if she was going anywhere with this “I was happy. Because when I looked at you, I didn’t see myself there. I didn’t see… Galra in you.” Keith swallowed the saliva that had been pooling in his mouth in a quick motion. It came down tearing at the soft tissue of his throat. It was unconfortable, and it complimented the weird feeling of shame he was feeling at hearing that. Almost as if he was caught doing something wrong “I didn’t see the deep tainted yellow eyes. I didn’t see a single purple mark anywhere on your body. No elongated ears, no sharp fangs. And I didn’t saw someone who would either be dragged back to the empire over my cold corpse or someone who’d pass years stuck in a hidden space station fighting a war they’d nurse since birth”  
  
Keith looked around. Taking the information as the feeling of guilt deepened. She means this exact station. They both know. It sounded like a silent accusation, even if deep down Keith knew it wasn’t. It still made him feel annoyed. And for the first time he realised amidst his rage that it wasn’t with Krolia that he was angry and upset with. It was himself. The worst part is that he couldn’t even explain why. He was doing good out here, wasn’t he? He was not fighting a lost war; he was helping Voltron on his own way. The only way he could right now. Then why did he felt like shit while doing it?  
  
“What I saw. Was a chance.” She moved a step closer to Keith. He pondered giving one backwards to counterbalance, but decided to simply cross his arms instead. She kept going without being fazed by it “I saw a chance of a new life, Keith. Not for me, but for you, and your father! I saw a chance of a happy family outside the desert, for you to grow up strong and healthy without having to worry about an intergalactic war. A chance of you living the human life you deserved. That you both deserved…”  
  
“Well, it seems someone forgot to get the memo…” It didn’t came as sarcastic this time. It came out sad. Because he knew she means it, and that she really wanted all of these things for him. However, destiny didn’t seem much interested in being compliant to her heart-felt wishes. Taking Shiro, and then dragging Keith and the others into all of the things Krolia so desperetly wanted him far from. If something was to be called a cruel joke from the universe, that was definetly it.  
  
“I did not know, Keith. I thought you had nothing of me… nothing of Galra within you. I thought the human DNA had overpowered it all. To know that this was what was left… I’m so sorry.”  
  
“You say it as if it was a curse…” She didn’t answer right away. It was making Keith anxious. She moved a step closer.  
  
“That’s why I’m here. I need to talk to you about the whole system and what this new discovery implicates.” Keith didn’t bother answering. He simply nodded and allowed her to take her time to start again. He did brace himself a little tighter though. However, faking bravado was not the same as actually having it. And right now he was shit scared of what was about to come.  
  
“When the Galra Empire was first stablished. Zarkon ordered all Omegas to be taken under special custody. He formed an entirely new section of the armed forces for this task alone. Empire Wardens.”  
  
“Empire Wardens?”  
  
“They were not part of the usual military forces. Actually, they never leave the mothership. They had one job, and one job only. To protect and guard the empire’s future. In other words to guard Omegas.”  
  
“Why would they need to do that?” Keith’s question was met with a heavy sigh.  
  
“You still remember what Kolivan told you earlier, right? Omegas have bigger litters. More babies means more soldiers. And after we lost our planet, that was the most vital thing for the Empire’s survival.”  
  
“That… sounds awful.” Keith said. The weight of what Krolia’s words implied finally sinking in his mind.  
  
“It is. I’m a Beta, so I was not subjected to this destiny. I was instead sent to the regular units. After that I was recruited by the Blade. It wasn’t a hard thing to do. I always hated the Empire, even if I was raised inside it.”  
  
“You were not raised inside the Blade?” Keith didn’t know why he was surprised by it. Somehow he couldn’t imagine his mother amongst the enemy lines.  
  
“No. I was born to one of the Omegas under the Wardens’ guardship. I never even met her…”  
  
Heavy silence fell upon the room. All these new details about Krolia’s life were both invigorating and overwhelming to Keith at the same time.  The fact that he finally knew more about his mother was such a new feeling. But knowing that they were basically following the same song here was also sad. The fact that it was so relatable was sad. Krolia was much more like Keith than he firstly presumed. At first it was just the physique, but now it was clear that whatever baggage Krolia had. Keith was not too far behind her. And that on itself was devastating. Not just for Keith, as he now realises all of this. But he imagines it for Krolia too. This was not what she said she wanted for Keith. This was not how this was supposed to go.  
  
“What we do here, Keith. In the Blade. Is not just for the other planets and people that were put through Zarkon’s reckless path of war. It’s for the Galra too. For those who don’t belive in the cause, for those who believe in it, but know no better, and even for those who hate us. It is for the Galra that had no choice but to carry on this legacy of fear and devastation. For the ones that had no choice but to bring new life to the world, just to be tainted by the twisted vision of the Empire. We do this for ourselves,” Krolia finally erased all space between them. She hesitantly put her hands over Keith’s entangled arms. She withheld her gaze firmly, making it impossible for Keith’s own to seek refuge on the ground or the walls around them. Forcing him to face her straight forward. Trying to reassure Keith that every word was true, that she meant all of it. Keith knew they were. He desperetly needed to believe they were “and we do this for our families.”  
  
“I understand,” Keith said. Voice still left hoarse by the previous abuse “I really do. I understand why you had to leave. I didn’t when I was younger. And I wanted to hate you for it. But after I came up here, and discovered that you were in the Blade. I understood. I understood that you did what had to be done. But It doesn’t hurt any less to know.” Keith felt new tears building up, breaking the stickiness that was left in his skin by the old ones “When I saw you, when you told me you knew I was here. I just… How could you just turn your back to me like this? You didn’t turn your back to these people - you just said it yourself -. Then why… why do you do it to me?”  
  
Krolia seemed in the verge of crying too. Much like all the questions Keith threw her way this one was met with no answers. Keith kept waiting for one. And as the time passed by, he couldn’t hold back anymore. He was tired. And he was beaten up. He sobbed his heart out. Recoiling into himself, almost morphing into a ball. Krolia seemed to crumble at that. She gave in too. Her hands went from his arms to his shoulders in one swift motion. In one instant his forehead was nested under her head, glued to her collarbones. She hugged him tight. Keith felt like he couldn’t breathe, suffocated between her embrace and the stream of tears. But he would not complain, for this was the first time in months that he felt like his lungs where clear. That he felt like he could finally feel the air around him again. And it smelled like home.  
  
“I was scared,” Krolia said. So weakly and so softly in what seemed like a sob of her own, that had Keith not being so close he might have missed it “I was scared of what you would think of me. Scared that you’d hate me for what I did to you”  
  
“I was scared too. I am scared!”  
  
“I know. I know you are,” One of her hands was now resting on his hair. It was a comfortable weight “But you don’t need to be. Not anymore.”  
  
Keith Finally let go of his own arms. Struggling against her iron hold, he hesitantly returned the hug. The first hug he had ever received or given his mother. And he was sobbing like a condemned soul. He was so terribly sad and helpless. Yet he felt joy amongst the bitter pain. Joy to finally reclaim something of his. To finally have his mother back.  
  
“You’re not alone, Keith. I’m not going anywhere. Not anymore”  
  
At some point, Keith fell asleep amongst the enclosing sent and the lukewarm tears. He did not dream of anything. The only thing he felt all night, was a deep warm feeling of satisfaction. One he did not feel in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> That's it for a first chapter. Hope you enjoyed and I'll see you all next time


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